I started this blog during my first year of college as a venue for all the random thoughts that were rolling around in my head; a replacement for my cherished bedside journal. It was going to be anonymous and personal and a chronicle of life on my own. So when Blogger asked me for a title, it didn't take me long to come up with "The Best of Me". Perhaps it was my (then and still very present) affinity for The Starting Line. But, rather, I think it was the hope that the best of me was still waiting to begin. I was making a transition from a small-town girl to this independent, self-sufficient woman. I wanted to think that I was going to become the person I always wanted to be.
Three years later, I don't know that much has changed. Sure, I'm older. I'm definitely stronger. I can say that I've gained an independence I never imagined seeing in myself. But at the same time, I often feel like I'm still searching for the best of me. Like somewhere down this road I get to look back and be proud. Have no regrets. Look at life and embrace it with open arms. Isn't that being happy? Isn't that what makes life worth the living? Because all I feel is this unrelenting uncertainty. It makes me wonder when I'll be able to say I am as good as I get.
But then again, do I ever want to be as good as I get? Maybe always searching for the better you is what makes you the best you that you can be. Maybe satisfaction and complacency are the enemy of your spirit. I don't think that anyone ever really gets it right...so if I ever think I have, maybe it's time to step away and find what can make me better.
Maybe I don't ever want to find the best of me.
Still looking,
Three years later, I don't know that much has changed. Sure, I'm older. I'm definitely stronger. I can say that I've gained an independence I never imagined seeing in myself. But at the same time, I often feel like I'm still searching for the best of me. Like somewhere down this road I get to look back and be proud. Have no regrets. Look at life and embrace it with open arms. Isn't that being happy? Isn't that what makes life worth the living? Because all I feel is this unrelenting uncertainty. It makes me wonder when I'll be able to say I am as good as I get.
But then again, do I ever want to be as good as I get? Maybe always searching for the better you is what makes you the best you that you can be. Maybe satisfaction and complacency are the enemy of your spirit. I don't think that anyone ever really gets it right...so if I ever think I have, maybe it's time to step away and find what can make me better.
Maybe I don't ever want to find the best of me.
Still looking,
